


Puppy love

by Freelance_Magic



Series: If a 6 foot tall dog man and tiny violent rabbit gremiln pined for each other would that be gay or what? [2]
Category: Sam & Max
Genre: Crying, Gay, M/M, Questioning Sexuality, Sam's in pining hell and we all enjoy that fact, Sharing a Bed, massage chair, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-06 11:45:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18850417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freelance_Magic/pseuds/Freelance_Magic
Summary: Sam’s hopelessly in love with Max and these are the tales of his struggle to not cry when Max does something he finds cute/sexy/kissable/gay/etc. (which probably includes breathing)





	1. Local dog cries over violent bunny being “too cute to handle”, more at eleven

**Author's Note:**

> Despite Max being the violent entity that he is, Sam just can’t help but think he’s the cutest thing since sleepy puppies falling over in tiny pastel colored sweaters when he’s sleeping.

“Wow, that was more exhausting than when a marathon around a car factory sponsored by  _ “people who insist that they are experts but are actually really incompetent incorporated. _ ”” I sigh out.  “Hey, Sam?” Max asks. “Yeah, little buddy?” I reply. “Shuddup.” Max finishes, exhausted. I don’t say anything in reply, because honestly, I’m too tired to say anything else. We just got home from a  **_long_ ** day at work. I’m ready to pass out on the spot. I make my way over to our well loved love-seat and fall onto it. I close my eyes and listen to Max pitter patter about like some sort of demented toddler before sleep takes me. 

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

I wake up, not realizing I fell asleep. “Mmax?” I mumble out. No response. I sit up and scan the room for the lagomorph, but I don’t have to look for very long because I find him on the recliner which is only three paces away from the love-seat. Max is in a little blanket nest with his head on a tiny pillow. It’s unbelievably cute, like the concept of an adorable lochness monster. I hope it’s not considered creepy to want to watch your best friend sleep. Well… I hope by Max’s standards it’s not creepy at the very least. It’s not often that Max looks this relaxed and at peace, it’s also odd considering the overly violent, cartoon like events that just transpired. I look at the clock, it’s late. So I guess it’s been a couple of hours since we did all of that stuff. I turn my attention back to Max and I move to get up and transport us to our room. I’m halted by Max letting out little “meeping” noises as he continues to sleep. No, no, no, Sam don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t- welp I’m crying. God, why do I have to be such a big softy who’s in love with his little buddy? I sit my gay ass back down and poundericate my current situation. Do I go to my room and get well needed rest, or do I stay here and watch Max sleep and die from dehydration via weeping? “Mmmm… Sammmm~” Max sleep talked as he nuzzled into his pillow. Welp, weeping it is! Max always been a handful, but he’s also really sweet. And cute. And huggable. And small. And sassy. And funny. And- I should stop thinking about all the things that I love about him and focus on something else. That something else I focus on is his tiny smile, guess I can’t help myself! I feel my tears rolling down my face uncomfortably. I can’t let Max see me like this for various reasons. Reason one: He might laugh at me. Reason two: He might be worried about me like the wonderful, cute, charismatic **_FRIEND_ ** that he is. Reason three: I’m not a crybaby anymore! Or at the very least, that’s what I try and convince people. Truth is, I still cry, a lot, but it’s been more over happy things rather than any other emotion. Max is also partly the reason why I cry less. He makes me feel brave, he’s my rock, he’s-! A loud snoring noise brings me out my partly self-infected gay hell. Ah. Right, let’s get to bed before I spend all night crying. I scope Max into my arms and he squishes his face into my neck and lets out a little happy sigh. My chest begins to heave as I being to quietly sob. “H-he’s s-so p-perfect!” I whisper out between hiccups. I can’t handle this! I can’t handle how cute he is. I love him so much, I wish he loved me back! If I said anything it might ruin our friendship. We always mention how he doesn’t like girls but that’s more of a childhood trait that never left. I try and calm myself down. Just get him to bed, Sam. That’s all you need to do. I resolved myself and made my way to our bedroom (not a good idea in retrospect, for my little heart to share a bedroom with the one I had a crush for more than half of my life) and try to put Max in his little hammock. Well, as it turns out Max has quite the grip on him when he sleeps, making it impossible to have him let go of me. It now seems I have to… sleep with Max.  **InANonSexualWayOfCourseItsNotLikeIWouldBeIntoThatAndNotWantHimToDoThingsToMeNoOneHasEverDoneBeforeAndHaveBeenWaitingForHimToDoThoseThingsWithNope!** So after that bout of panic and denial I change into my PJs (minus the shirt because Max is doing his best impression of a koala) and get into bed. Max cuddles closer and I realize I’m in for a hard and long night. What is my life? A romcom?!


	2. An adolescent query

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam reminiscences about his middle school aged days and all of the feelings and questions that came with them

Max and I have just gotten home after encountering an old high school bully on the job. Apparently Max didn’t recognize him but after seemingly having a flashback seems to have made him remember him. “I should have broken that jerks face again for old times sake.” Max growled out. I smile a little, “His nose already looks pretty janked up, Max.” I replied. “Well the jerk deserves it for decking you in the face in middle school.” Max retorted.  I think for a moment about the event. I remember Max hugging me afterwards, t-that can’t be right? He hugged me? “Oh, right. Hey didn’t you hug me after he punched me in the nose?” I inquired. I swear Max looked panicked for a second but then he says calmly, “Oh. Um… I was trying to steal your wallet?” He answers. That sound about right. I giggle. “You crack me up little buddy.” I remember that day when Chad Gonzales decked me in the face, and I remember the hug Max gave me afterwards. But I think the most memorable part was the… feelings that came after. 

 

**_> Activate wavy flashback transition       _ **

 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_Sometime during our childhood_ **

 

It’s been several days since Max beat up that bully for me and… I’ve been having these weird thoughts lately. Like, is any of this for real, or not? Max hugged me. People hug each other all the time, especially when they’re hurt, but Max isn’t usually one to-. Water splashing me in the face brings me out of my head. “Sam! Are you just gonna stand around or are you gonna help me find frogs?!” Max scolded. “Sorry, little buddy! Just thinkin’ ‘bout stuff s’all.” I sheepishly reply. “Well, more froging, less thinking!” Max ordered.  Max then went back to trying to locate the local anura population. I also start looking in the shallow waters of this creek but, like the last several days have taught me, I can’t spend more than a minute without thinking about Max and these… weird feelings I get when I’m around him. It’s… not any bad feelings per se, just kind of… strange. “AH HA!” Max yelled, bring me back to reality once more. “Got one?” I ask. “Yep! Never saw me coming!” Max said with clear pride in his voice. Max then waddles his way over to a clear box to make sure we don’t lose the catch. “Enjoy your imprisonment!” Max says with a little bit too much glee. I sit on a smooth rock which is above the water and think some more. When Max was happy about catching the frog, it made  **me** happy, not because of the frog but because Max was so happy. I’m mean… it makes sense, you should be happy that your friend is happy. But… I remembered something my grandma told me;  _ “Sammy boy, when you find true love with someone, you share your emotions with each other, if ones hurt, the other is hurt too, if ones happy, the other is happy alongside them.”  _  Does that mean…? Max turns to face me. That I…? Max smiles. Am…? My face heats up at his cute expression. I am in love with Max? My heart does a flip at the thought! I feel panicked and excited and happy and worried and **I don’t know what to do with myself anymore!** “Hey Sam, wanna head back to your place? I’m still sleeping over. Right?” Max asked me. “Oh. Uh, sure. Sam and Max are heading home!” I say without throwing up somehow.  

 

Max and I are heading back to my place when it started to rain, which was puzzling because it just swooped in less then three point two seconds. Lucky we just turned onto my street as it happened. “I’m gonna shank the weather man!” Max stated irritated at being wet. “Pretty sure that’s looked down upon in most societies, Max.”  “He said  **ZERO PERCENT CHANCE** of rain, Sam!” Max grumbled back. I bring a grumpy Max a towel from the laundry room.  _ “I hope Max doesn’t get cold from being wet” _ I think to myself. “Um…? Sam?” “Huh?” I guess I spaced out again. I looked a little down and realize that I’m drying off Max myself. Well, that’s embarrassing! “O-oh, u-uh, u-um…?” I begin to panic. “Whatever, dry me off jeeves!” Max says like I’m some sort of servant.  “D-do it yourself, fuzzball.” I try and fail to sound offended. Truth is I kinda like the idea of taking orders from Max for some strange sudden- wait, where are my parents? “Hey, where are your folks, Sam?” Max noticed it too. I then conveniently notice a notice on the Refrigerator. _ “ Important poker game, leftovers are in the fridge, we bought pizza for you and Max. Don’t stay up too late. We will be home sunday afternoon.  Try not to trash the house. If you need anything go to Max’s. ~ Love mom <3.”  _ Oh so Max and I have the house alone for tonight, tomorrow-  **_ALONE?!_ ** They leave me and Max alone for more than a few hours for the first time when I think I might be freaking in love with him?! **_CAN YOU EVEN LIKE OTHER BOYS?! IS THAT POSSIBLE?! IS IT ALLOWED?!_ ** **AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** “Sam?” Max interrupted my mental breakdown very rudely. “Wha…?” I say like a doofus. “What does the note say that's got you looking like someone just the last ice cream sandwich.” He asks. Calm down, Sam. “It says that they went out. We are on our own tonight.” I say like someone who's lost control of their life in their mid-forties but really is just nine to twelve years old in love with their best buddy, which I am. Max then gets a devilish smile on his face, but then again it does just look like that sometimes, personally I think it’s cute but- “that’s means we can do whatever we want!” Max exclaimed, once again interrupted my inner monologue. Max then ran into the living room and began to pull movies off the shelf. “We can watch R rated movies if we wanted!” Max excitedly pointed out. We could do that… if we actually owned any R rated movies. “I don’t think we own any R rated films, Max.” I confess. “Flims? What are you fifty?” Max teases.  We settle on watching  _ “Area Preliminary To Time.”  _ I’m not paying attention to the movie however; I’m still too preoccupied with… things. Do I like guys? Do I like girls? Why do I like Max? I try and imagine myself kissing a girl. Ok, I guess. I mean, there isn’t any girls that I’m interested in because they are all really mean to me, so I’m not sure if I can judge this? I think about turning to my left and kissing Max silly. I feel like I’m standing over huge drop when I think about it. My heart begins to race. My mouth goes dry. I turn to Max and-. Suddenly everything goes black. “The heck?!” Max exclaimed. The power went out. “Guess the weather took a turn for the worse.” I chime. “Ugh… let’s just go to bed.” Max said, annoyed at the lack of modern electricity. I’m kind of tired actually. “Sure, let me get a flashlight.” 

 

Once I got a flashlight and my PJ’s on I turn to Max who’s playing with the flashlight. “So should we try and get the matterus from the basement or…?” I ask. “Nah, your bed will fit us both.” Max said casually. My heart stopped and my brain ran a million miles per hour.  I try and think of some sort of excuse to get out of this situation. But I can’t think of any reason we can’t. “S-sure, I-I don’t s-see any reason n-not t-to.” We climb into bed and max falls asleep nearly instantly. He’s so close. I continue to think again. If we were in a relationship… who would be the “girl”? The one to be sought after and “wooed”. I think about Max and how cute he would be when I- if I get him a gift or something. The kisses and complements I would give him. But then I think about it if I were the “girl”. I think about Max getting me thoughtful gifts, him pulling me into kisses, calling me “beautiful” and “cute”.  I… I like both. I like both. I like the idea of being cared for and loved and sought after by Max just as much as trying to woo Max myself. I’m so confused right now. Max then reaches over in his sleep and pulls himself right to me. I try and resist cuddling back. But I’m so tired. I give in and cuddle back. I’ll figure it out in the morning.

  
  


**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

  
  


And to think that I almost kissed him all those years ago. I look over to a pissed off Max who’s grumbling to himself. “Stupid jerk- hurtin’ sam like a little…” That’s sweet of Max to still be angry about that. I feel myself blush a little. I shake my head and I smile to myself. I thankful for that power outage or I might have done something stupid. I wouldn't want to lose Max, now or ever! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Max: Frog :)  
> Sam: *On the ground in a ball having a crisis* I’m fine :). * inside his head* *Screaming and gay panic*
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you all had a fun read. Just fyi Sam has no ideas about relationships because he's a bab in the flash back so if y’all are mad about Sam asking himself “Who girl?” He baby and in the past pre wide access internet. Also Sam didn’t know what “Gay” or “bi” was yet( or even sex in all honesty). Max known because he's full of forbidden knowledge like the little gremlin he is. Also I left Sam's overall sexuality as “definitely not straight” so you can headcanon him as most sexualitys with of course the exception of hetrosexual.


	3. Cursed Machine: A Warning To All That Pine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning this chapter contains a dog man watching his best little buddy enjoying a massage chair a little too much and having certain thoughts that might make some people uncomfortable, though nothing is stated there is HEAVY implications happening and if you want no part in these gay shenanigans then skip this chapter ( but I know half of you live for this)

“I still can’t believe you won that sweepstakes, Max.” I say, still in disbelief. “Yeah, who would of guessed when I sent those thirty-two prize labels that I got from knives that I’d win the draw?” Max giggled out. “Why did you buy thirty-two knives?” I laugh out. Max turned to me and giggled behind his hands. “They are some surprise tools that will help us later.” He cryptically stated. “I still don’t know why we had to pick it up ourselves, the Desoto isn’t really made to carry large objects, Max.” “Well it carries you just fine?” “Max, that’s a low blow.” “Your right, I’m sorry. Anyways I’m pretty sure it’s so they can recoup some of their loses from giving away a massage chair.” Max pointed out. That sounds right. Why waste any more money than necessary? “Well I just hope you enjoy it and that it doesn't bump our electricity bill too high.” I sigh out. “You mean the bills we never pay yet never face any consequences from?” Max asks. “The very same, little buddy.” 

 

After one painstakingly annoying trip up the stairs later and we now have the chair set up. “Welp, give it a go, little buddy!” I say as I sit in the office chair. Sam- I mean, Max then hops up onto the chair and presses a button on a remote and all hell breaks loose. The chair is making noises now and Max is settling in. “Ah…. this is great.” Max blissfully whispered. Max then clicked a button and the noises got more intense. “Oh… oh… oh god.” Max said a bit more strained. “M-max?” What’s is happening right now? Max then pushed another button and he threw his head back. “YES! YES! RIGHT THERE!” He shouted in pleasure. Oh god no. Why? I’m now stuck sitting here watching my pal make these noises. I pick up a newspaper and pretend to read it so I can hide the fact that I’m both drooling and panting. I then hear something fall onto the floor. What was-? “Mmmm… Sam? I need you right now, Sam.” Oh god that’s one thing I wanted to hear for half of my entire life. “Y-yeah?” I ask lowering my newspaper, shakily. “I-I dropped my, ugh… remote… can you get it?” He asked, voice full of pleasure. “S-sure thing!” I say as I rush to get the dropped remote. I pick the damn thing up. “Uhh… give it to me, Sammy.” Max must be out of it because he never calls me,  _ “Sammy”.  _  I go to hand him the remote but I accidentally push a button. “AH! Please! Harder!” Max begs. Oh Jesus Christ here we go. I can’t move anymore and all I can do is tremble. “P-please, Sam. More! I need more

!” He begs. I’m gonna need a cold shower after this ordeal. Like a madman I punch another button on the remote. “Mmm… I can’t wait to do this to you...” Max sighed out. I’m starting to cry because I lost all control of my life at this point and can’t go back.  

 

By some god figure or just dumb luck, Max hits the stop button on the chair. “Wow! This chairs great!” He says like someone who didn’t just make erotic noises sexual enough to make the devil himself blush. I don’t respond because my brain is fried and psyche shattered. “Oh, I bet you wanted a go on this!” Max takes my hand. “Here, try it out!” He says as I flop down onto it. The chair then starts to do it’s thing. It’s quite nice actually-. “Feels good? Uh big boy?” Max says like some adult film star. Oh god here we go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Max: Mmmm…. Chair.  
> Sam: *Slams hand on blue button* NUT
> 
> I have no words for what i just made.


	4. To return a favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Max get captured by the bad guy they are pursuing. Sam ends up doing for Max what Max did for him all those years ago

This mission has been nothing but a disaster so far. We get captured in record time, I’m missing my coat and hat, my tie and shirt are not done how I like them and we are in uncomfortable chains. Why can’t the bad guys buy the plush chains/handcuffs, they are MUCH more comfortable. “Well, well, well if it isn’t Sam and Max: Freelance LOSERS!” Wait, didn’t we already…?  “Huh? I thought we already put you away?” I said, extremely confused at the encore appearance of Chad Gonzalez. “Unlike you losers I actually have connections with people of power” Chad sneered. “Um, I’ll have you know that I am actually snark buddy's with the former Queen of Canada.” Max spoke up. Chad then went red in the face out of what I can only guess is rage. “SHUT IT YOU ANNOYING, USELESS FREAK!” Chad screamed as he picked up what looks like a brick and hurled it at Max’s head. It hits its intended target and Max lets out a hurt noise. He’s bleeding. HE’S BLEEDING.  **HE’S BLEEDING!** **_HE GONNA PAY WITH HIS LIFE FOR THAT!_ ** I begin to growl. **“You will not talk to Max like that or throw crap at his head, you slime-ball!”** I growl out.  “Oh,yeah? Whatcha gonna do about it?” Teased Chad.  **“I’m gonna shoot you in the freakin’ knee caps and then your weak spine, you broken condom.”** I barked out. “I’d like to see you try, Crybaby.” Chad egged on. I begun to trash around in my chains.  **“You’re gonna regret the day you were born, you human representation of pond scum.”** He's gonna be sorry! So, so sorry!  “Like you could do anything! Your just the same, useless crybaby!” Chad sneered.  **“Unlike you, BITCH, I actually changed and grew from middle school and didn’t emotionally stagnant like a economically uninteresting pool of water!”**

 

**/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////**

 

Dick-wad (other wise known as  _ “Chad” _ ) and I have been going back and forth for while now and I think I’m getting the upper hand when Max chimes in.  “So like what even is your evil plan for us?” Max asks clearly uncomfortable in the chains. Chad stops mid uninteresting middle school tier insult and gives Max a disgusting look. Bastard deserves to suffer just for that alone. “It’s a machine I ordered from  _ “Evil Ebay”.  _ “Wow, that’s lame, the cool villains build their own or at the very least commission out, not this stupid online shopping shtick.” Max snarks at him. I’m so proud of my little bf, and by bf I mean best friend  but I wish we were more . “OH, YEAH LOSER? Well, this machine will broadcast your most hidden secrets for the world to see.” He said. “Like most people do on social media?” Max inquired “NO! Even WORSE!” Chad said as he pulled out a remote with a single large red button on it. Chad then pushed said red button and Max’s chains started to move to a hole in the ground. My chains also, for some inexplicable reason began to loosen up. “Say goodbye to all your self respect, Freak!” Seethed Chad. Max fell from his chains into the hole.  **_“MAX!!!”_ ** I screamed out as I fell from my imprisonment. “What?! How did you-?” Chad blurted, shocked. I pick up the brick he thrown at Max’s head and charged at him.  **_“This is for hurting THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!”_ ** I say as I bash the brick into his skull like semi truck into a minivan. “LOVE?! HA! Makes sense that your a fag- I don’t let him finish that slur as I hit him again, but with more force this time.  **_“THIS IS FOR CALLING HIM A “FREAK”!”_ ** I raise the brick in the air again.  _**“THIS IS FOR ORDERING A EVIL VILLAIN MACHINE OFF EBAY, YOU BASIC BITCH OF A VILLAIN!”** _ I scream as I bring the brick to his cranium with a “crack”. I lift the brick for the final blow.  **_“AND THIS IS FOR HARASSING ME AND MAKING SCHOOL EVEN WORSE THAN IT ALREADY WAS!”_ ** The final blow I deliver leaves a big, black eye, a bleeding nose and a lot of blood on the ground. I have no time to worry about that now. Where is Max?! And like a prayer being answered, a monitor lit up on the wall. That jerk said this will show Max’s most hidden desires and fantasies? I can only imagine fire and chaos. But what greets me is instead a soft, familiar voice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Max: Ouch!  
> Sam: TIME TO COMMIT MURDER IN NAME OF LOVE!
> 
>  
> 
> Look at Sam go. Being all angry and protective of his not boyfriend but still totally his life partner like how does he not see it? So proud of him. Funky dog boi points +1000. I hope you guys read my last story so you realize that this is just the chapter 4 of that one but this time it’s Sams jeepers peepers.


	5. Sam watches Max make out with him and it’s shatters his mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam watches Max’s hidden fantasies. Which include him!]

There I am on the screen. Why am I half naked? “Max…” The T.V version of me says as he lightly shakes Max who is sleeping beside him. T.V me goes to try and wake him up again. Max continues to snooze. So far this has been pretty accurate with how hard it is to wake Max up in the morning. “Wake up, little buddy.” Max finally opens his eyes at that. T.V Sam smiles at Max. “Morning, Max.” He yawned. “G'mornin’ Sam.” Max sleepily mumbles back.  “Ready to get up like prices of gas on a long weekend in summer?” Asked T.V Sam. Max seems to think for a moment. “Cuddle first.” He says. Did he just say “cuddle first”? H-he must be joking! But he’s reaching out for me- I mean him! Sam giggles at Max's cute sleepy actions, “well I guess it’s ok if we stay bed a little late, it’s our day off after all.” Oh, Max just wants a day off, that's it! Then the me on T.V schooches even closer to Max and wraps his arms around him and pulls him in close. Is it possible to be jealous of yourself? Because I’m feeling a little envious of the T.V Sam getting all these sleepy Max cuddles. Max then snuggles into T.V Sam and T.V Sam gives him kiss on the head. What-? “I love you so much.” Max says into my- his chest.  I feel tears sliding down my face. “H-he couldn’t! He d-didn’t! I-I-I!” I cry out. I fall to my knees. I can’t handle this! He feels the same! HE FEELS THE SAME! More tears fall as I cry and laugh. “He loves me!” I cry out in joy. “HE REALLY LOVES ME!” All those time where I dared to dream, times were I could have sworn he look at me like the only man in the world, the sweet actions and words he would say at times that seemed a little out of character. All of it was actually because he felt the same way! I look back at the screen through my tears. 

 

Max and Sam are in the kitchen and Max is watch me look for something with a look of pure adoration. I can’t wait to confess these more than a decade old feelings to him and have him look at me like that in real life. Sam seems to have found what he’s looking for because he did a little  _  “ah-ha!”  _ and pulled out some syrup.  I move forward and accidentally push a button on a panel. “ _ I’m starting to think that Sam has put his lips on that mug more than he has on me, that is completely unacceptable.”  _ Is that Max? I look at the screen, the me that’s serving breakfast right now hasn’t reacted to Max. And now that I think about it, Max’s voice was echoey like in television shows when they're trying to show inner thoughts of a character. That button must have let me hear Max’s thoughts. “Hey, Sam?” Max’s question brings me back to attention. T.V Sam turns to face him. “Hmm?” Sam hums as he has a inquisitive look on his face. Max stands on his chair and kisses him, the lucky son of a gun! “Thanks for making breakfast.” Max whispered in my/his ear. The me swallows and honestly that is a mood. “No problem, Maxie.” He whispers back in a husky voice. Bold of Max to assume that I would be able to say anything without stuttering after the stunt he just pulled. “ _ I love it when he says my name like that.”  _  I really should be taking notes, not everyday you get to see and hear the fantasies of a person you have feelings for! 

 

Those waffles must have been delicious because Max totally tore those poor, innocent waffles apart! “Hey, you got something on your face.” T.V Sam pointed out. Max reached up to touch his face but Sam stops him. “No, I’ll get it.”  T.V Sam then licks his mouth.  _ “Oh, so he wants to play this game? I’m always down to see who will cave to the other romantic gestures first.”  _ Being in a relationship with Max seems to a battle of tongues at times, not that I’m complaining. “Look, little buddy, if we keep this up we will end up getting nothing done today expect for me pinning you to a wall.” Sam says. Max smirks at him. “You say that like that’s the last thing want.” He flirts back while playing with his my ear. “I wanted to take a bath.” T.V Sam says. Max pouts at that. Sam sees Max’s expression and gets a smirk on his face. “Well, I mean, it does get lonely in the tub, maybe you’d like to join me?” O-oh, umm… I should probably look for a way to get Max out of the machine before I see to much. Just another minute or two can’t hurt though. T.V Sam gets up and makes his way to the bathroom, as he sauntered he let his housecoat slip down one of his shoulders. “Wow, I look great.” I say to myself, a little flattered by Max’s perception of me. 

 

Ok. No more T.V. I need to find a way to get Max outta this thing! I approach the control panel located below the monitor. Now which one of these buttons will eject Max from the machine? I push a random button and a small screen on the panel lights up. Ok, progress! But not what I wanted. I push another random button, the screen shows me “BROADCAST RANGE” which seems to be the upper half of the east coast. “Feels good?” A familiar voice says interrupting my fumbling with the computer. I look up to the monitor on the wall. What meets my eyes is a very much naked me giving Max what appears to be a massage. At least the bubbles in the tub are tastefully censoring anything…  _ private _ . I begin to push more random buttons on the panel so I can get Max out of there before he and fantasy Sam turn this situation eighteen plus. huh,  _ “Sams got a lot of tension in his shoulders.”  _ I glance up at the monitor because myself control has left like a deadbeat dad who’s favorite direction is west. Max is now giving me as massage. He looks like he’s good at it too, but that might just be part of his fantasy.  I get back to work again pressing more buttons in the vain hope of ending this uncomfortable situation once and for all. I hit a blue button and it brings a prompt on screen. 

 

>EJECT SUBJECT?

->YES

>NO 

 

I hit a button that vaguely looks like “enter” on a regular computer. A new message pops up. 

 

SUBJECT TO BE EJECTED IN 10 MINS

 

Well… I guess I have nothing to do but go back to watching “Max and Sam in gay land.” I look back on the monitor and- “M-max, please!” T.V me exclaimed in a pleading voice. Well, seems like I missed a few things. “Who’s my good boy?” Max asks.  _ “Me?”  _ I hope in my head. “M-me?” T.V Sam mumbles. I got a feeling that’s it’s gonna be a long ten minutes. 

 

So after watching… whatever you wanna call what I just witnessed, Sam and Max got out of the bath and are now on the couch watching T.V and cuddling. T.V Sam kisses Max and says “I love you, little buddy.”Max nuzzles into the crook of his neck “I love you too, Sam.”  Then loud beeping ruined the moment. 

 

EJECTING SUBJECT!

EJECTING SUBJECT!

EJECTING SUBJECT!

  
I hurry to the hole in the floor where Max disappeared and wait, frantic for Max’s safety. The machine wasn’t kidding about being “ejected” because it shot Max several feet into the air. I caught him in my arms, where was always mean to be. Max still has dry blood on his head from when that bastard hit him with a brick, I hope he doesn't have a concussion. I lay him on the ground so he can breathe easier.  “Max!” I shake him gently. “Max!” Why won’t he wake up?! “Max!” My vision gets blurry with tears. “Please, little buddy, wake up!” Max finally fluttered his eyes open. My tears finally fall in pure relief. “Sam? Why are you-?” I don’t let Max finish that sentence. I pick him up and bring him in tight. “S-sam?” He stutter out. Odd… Max almost never sutters. We stay like this for a moment. Max then reaches over and starts to rub my back. “Hey, shhh…” He’s trying to calm me down, that’s really sweet of him.  “It’s ok, I’m ok.” He whispers. I then move so that we are face to face, Max gives me a puzzled look. “Sam? What are yo- **_Mph!_ ** ” I rush forward and kiss him, my heart nearly bursts at the feeling of my lips on his.  “I-I can’t b-believe it!” I say as I part our lips. “What?” Says Max, in a stupor. “I-I liked you since m-middle school!” I confessed, finally. I feel all jittery right now, like Max if I let him drink coffee.  “To think you...had these… thoughts.” I thought out loud. “You like me?” Said Max clearly caught off guard. I smile and put my noise to his. “Y-yeah. I do.” I say softly. Max looks happy for a moment, then confused again.  “You said, “thoughts”?” He questions.Oh, right, that thing. I look towards the monitor placed on the wall. “Yeah, like that piece of human garbage said, this machine broadcasts your deepest, most secret fantasies.” I point out.  I look back at Max who has a blank face, which for some reason ( I can guess what) starts to become more and more unsettled and panicked while still staying blank. “How much did it...?” Max tries to ask but trails off. “Everything… including your inner thoughts at each moment…” I answer honestly. I think about what he said to the me in the bath. My face gets hot that the thought. “D-do you really think I-I’m handsome?” I ask after a moment of silence.  I look away from Max because of how embarrassing that was to say. “How this for an answer.” Max says as he grabbed my face. He crash my lips into his. I make a little needy whine, I need more of this. “You were my sexual awakening you know.” He confesses as we part once more. I smile softly and somehow blush even harder. “Funny, You were mine too.” I say quietly. “I can’t believe we could have been together for  **YEARS** .” Max whines. “Yeah…” I agree, how did we not slip up this whole time? We spend a moment in comfortable silence before Max breaks it again.  “Wait what happened to Chad?” He asks. I point over to the garbage pile laying on the ground unconscious. “You…?” “He’s not dead...yet.” I chime.  “Wow, you really did a number on him.” That almost sounds like a complement. “That’s so hot.” Max states. That caught me off guard! “S-sam! I mean, MAX!” Max stops me from saying anything else on the matter with a kiss. I guess we can just sit here for a little while longer, after all… we have a lot of time to make out- I mean “up” for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Max: Here’s a list of everything about Sam that I think is hot  
> Sam: *Taking notes* Buy new housecoat aaannnddd bubble bath for gay bath time
> 
>  
> 
> WE ARE THRU THE SAM PORTION MY DUDES AND DUDETTES AND ALSO NON BINARY-UDES!!!! Wait? You think this gay train has stopped? HA! FOOL! THE GAY TRAIN NEVER STOPS!!! WE STILL HAVE THE AFTERMATH TO GO THRU!!!! TILL NEXT TIME!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> TL;DR  
> Max: *Sleepy bun*  
> Sam: *Inconsolable Crying Dog Noises*
> 
> That has been the first chapter of Sam’s Gay Hell (sponsored by Max). Hope y’all enjoyed!!


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